This is a story of survival. This past weekend, the Litigation Department was kind enough to invite the Summer Associates to a good ol’ fashion clam bake (or so we thought…). The following post details the experience of seven Summer Associates, thirty litigation attorneys, and one clam bake . . .
From the moment I entered Michael Kreitzer’s neighborhood, I realized that a number of challenges awaited me. Michael was kind enough to host the event at his waterfront home that boasted picturesque views. Sounds incredible, right? Not so fast. I first had to survive the second most treacherous drive of my life (right behind Jenny driving us to the Marlins game last week). I was continuously distracted as my gaze was drawn towards the rows of yachts lining the bright blue water (think Odysseus and the Sirens). Luckily, I was able to snap out of my Miami Vice daydream in time to safely arrive at Michael’s. The danger had just only begun…
As I entered, I was immediately presented with the second temptation of the night. Directly in front of me sat a stocked bar and an entire table of desserts. This was either a torturous test of will power or some sort of mind game. And trust me, if there is one thing that every law student knows about it is a frustratingly difficult test.
As the genuine niceness of all the attendees and their significant others lulled us Summer Associates into a sense of security, we quickly realized that we were socializing amongst a minefield of extremely cool pieces of art. Every wall was adorned with pieces of art so trendy that it would put Jared Spector and Jerry Goldsmith’s fedora-adorned outfits from years past to shame.
We were told that there would be plenty of food, but no one could have prepared us for what we were about to walk into. After a touching toast by Mitch Widom, we walked downstairs to see what we assumed was all the food we would be eating that evening. The buffet contained what looked like an endless supply of chicken, filet, pasta, etc. (But where were the clams?!?) It turns out that this first pit stop was merely a buffet before the actual buffet. After piling up one plate, I turned the corner and “BAM”, there was a pan of fresh clams, mussels, shrimp, and lobster the size of Geoff Kirsner’s brand-new, eco-friendly Prius. Thankfully, this was not my first rodeo regarding an “all you can eat” buffet. I consumed so much food that even Takeru Kobayashi would be impressed. (Mike and his partner, Chris, deserve a massive shout-out for organizing the entire event).
All in all, the event was a challenging test of our strength, stamina, and willpower. Thankfully, we all made it out in one piece.